I love going to the annual meeting, and I have a suggestion that is long past due. I suggest the site of one of our annual meeting be Hawaii.
This plan may raise objections in some staid and traditional corners of our convention. Allow me to explore several obstacles for holding our annual meeting in paradise, and maybe some of you will see the benefits to my plan.
The first reason would be the expense. Is having the meeting in Hawaii too expensive for individual pastors from smaller churches? A quick comparison of airline tickets will reveal only a modest average price increase of 700 dollars between a ticket to Phoenix and a ticket to Honolulu. Perhaps we could all make our way to LAX and get a group rate across the Pacific to Hawaii, or maybe we could convince the Port Authority of Los Angeles to get The Queen Mary out of mothballs and we could all sail to Hawaii.
The second reason would concern the desired attire for an island convention getaway. This kind of meeting would require a Hawaiian shirt for every attendee, and not every SBC pastor owns a Hawaiian shirt. I would make a motion at the previous year’s meeting recommending the purchase of Hawaiian shirts by the executive committee for every messenger at the Hawaiian convention. I would however accept an amendment to said motion if it were to recommend the purchase of leis in lieu of shirts for every messenger.
The third reason would be a lack of dolphins. This would give us an opportunity to support the care and stewardship of God’s creation. It was wonderful when the convention was held in a city with SeaWorld, but SeaWorld is no substitute for seeing dolphins in their natural habitat. We will need more dolphins, and I would put this responsibility in the lap of the executive committee.
The fourth reason would be concern over the volcanoes. The volcanoes would provide an outstanding backdrop for an explosive debate during our meeting.
I believe I have answered four of the more popular objections to holding our annual meeting in Hawaii. I hope the rank and file will support my underfunded yet politically courageous campaign to hold our annual meeting in Hawaii.